Conflict Resolution

Conflict is a normal, healthy part of a young child’s development. Learning to socialize can be the beginning of something new and exciting. However, it requires children to learn many skills, especially if they are to enjoy the experience of playing and having fun with other children.

Here is the approach that we use at St. Michael’s:

Approach the child calmly, at the child’s height, stopping any hurtful actions.

Speak firmly, but quietly.

Keep it simple, say what you mean. “I can’t let you hit ______. When you hit, it hurts.”

You might have the aggressor look at the face of the hurt child so that they begin to look for non-verbal clues. Children are egocentric until they are six and it is difficult, if not impossible for them to understand another point of view. We need to help them.

Acknowledge both children’s feelings, beginning with the victim. “Did you like that?”   “What would you like to say to _____?”

Hold the child’s hand and stand by for support.

If the aggressor has run away, take the victim by the hand to the aggressor and
gently hold the aggressor hand and say, “_______ tell _______ how you feel.” Then, let the aggressor do the same with the victim.

Gather Information: “Tell me what you think happened?” Allow ample time for each child to respond.  If one child interrupts, very calmly respond, “_____ isn’t through.”

Restate the problem.

Ask for 3 solutions to the problem and choose one together. “How can we solve this problem?”

Be prepared to give follow-up support and hugs if needed.